J: So, I guess whoever wrote the script for the new Star Trek movie is a pretty big Spock/Sulu shipper, huh? Man, I'd hate to see the fanfics he has stashed away!
K: Wait, what? No. Why would you even think that?
J: Come on, it was so obvious that they were totally into each other!
K: No. No it wasn't. What are you talking about?
J: You know, Star Trek? Spock and Sulu? All those scenes where they were making out?
K: There. Was. Never. Anything. Between. Spock. And. Sulu. EVER.
J: What, are you crazy? They kissed and everything! In front of Kirk. Maaan, that was hilarious!
K: Okay, I think we must have seen different movies, despite sitting next to each other at the theater, and I'm going to have to go scan your hard drive now for fanmade Star Trek porn. Geez.
J: Don't you remember? When they were on the transporter pad?
K: That was UHURA.
J: So when I said Spock and Sulu.
J: You were picturing...
J: Want brain bleach. NOW!
Unfortunately I have to torment him a little bit more now, with the original and therefore not-even-remotely-appealing Spock and Sulu. This is the first image that came up when I did a Google search...with SafeSearch on of course.
(Actually, this is the first image that came up without SafeSearch on, too--it must not be a very popular fanship.)
Also, I am now referring to any hints of Spock/Sulu fanshipping as Spew-lu. You have been warned.