One helluva bad mood.

And Jon, if you're reading this, which you should be, maybe something will get through your thick skull. Who knows?


Woke up planning to hit 39 before class. Did so, but it took a bit longer than expected, since Dragonmaw was down for an extra hour. Had a great run through SM Cathedral, though--I love it when we have both frost and fire mages, and when there's enough cc I swear warriors make even better tanks than paladins. Ate dinner, left for class, GOT LOST.

Really.

Tried to take a shortcut from my normal route, ended up taking an extra hour and a half to figure out that I was lost and how to get back to campus. So, missed Welsh entirely. Jon picked me up, we went and grabbed dinner and my laptop. He said it wasn't a raid night so we could do something together. Yay!

Except that I had a nasty headache, which standing in line at his favorite restaurant didn't help. I don't blame him for that, it was my idea after all. And it did die down a bit after I got my drink and we got back and I could just sit down for a while.

Where I started getting frustrated, I think, was when he started talking about the new 5-man instance that got released today, and how awesome it was. I admit, I -was- a little curious--I mean, that's the kind of stuff I never get to see, and won't for a good 30 levels or so. But when he asked if I wanted to see the new area, what I was expecting was a quick tour and then logout. Especially since he knew I wanted to hit 40 tonight, and he'd suggested we run SM again (Library thru Cathedral). So you know, I kind of thought MAYBE when he said we could spend time together, he ACTUALLY MEANT IT.

Instead, he spent the next hour or so just getting a group together for the instance, then until nearly midnight trying to finish it. And he only stopped after I told him, for about the fifth time, that I really needed to get home NOW.

Of course, instead of telling them to find another 'lock, he asked if they could wait 20 minutes or so.

It's a BRAND NEW INSTANCE. I really doubt that they'd have any trouble finding a replacement, and even if they did, well, that should NOT be his first concern.

I'm so angry right now, and I'm not even sure exactly what set it off. Probably a combination of everything, plus his saying stuff like "I'm sorry I wasn't being completely attentive". I DO NOT NEED YOUR COMPLETE ATTENTION, DAMMIT! I do JUST FINE doing my own thing; I can be quite happy healing low level instances or taking a nap while you do other things. But when I feel like crap to begin with, and then you tell me all these nice things about how we'll FINALLY get some time together, and THEN you COMPLETELY IGNORE ME so you can spend time acting like a jackass with a bunch of people you don't even know (remember that you did have Vent turned up so I could hear it), the is TOO MUCH.

I don't need much. Is it unreasonable to ask that I simply be treated as a higher priority than that game? I enjoy it too, sure, but not to the exclusion of all else. If there's something important to me--if there's something important to someone who's important to me--I can step away and focus on that.

Maybe I'm being the stereotypical game-hating girlfriend here, I don't know. Maybe not. I do know, though, that I've put up with a lot more than most people would have. And hey, I want to make this work. I really do. But I can't do it if I'm going to be the only one putting any kind of effort into the relationship, which is really what it feels like sometimes. And at this point, I really do feel like the guildies rank higher than I do; frustrating, to say the least. What am I supposed to do to get some attention, wear a tight shirt and yell "I HAVE BOOBIES!!!!"?

And now my stomach's gone all queasy. Oh, yay. If I'm really lucky, it's just because I'm angry...

I'm not feeling very lucky, though.